MAKING ALLOWANCES ROSS SMITH 151019
ALL REFERENCES FROM AMPLIFIED VERSION UNLESS NOTED
Ephesians 4:2 LIVING AS BECOMES YOU] with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and MAKING ALLOWANCES because you love one another.
Before we address the key theme, “MAKING ALLOWANCES”, we need to set a plinth on which we can build the principle. In verse 1 if we take out the Apostle Paul’s personal address it reads “THEREFORE (Verse 1) — walk (lead a life) worthy of the [divine] calling to which you have been called [with behaviour that is a credit to the summons to God’s service.
You will recall that the word “THEREFORE” is saying, what lies ahead is based on things previously taught. Next, he says “walk”, which eliminates any opportunity to stall the process of our progress, and then inserts another significant word, “WORTHY”. This word “Axios” (G514) means having the weight of another thing of like value. The root meaning is the balancing of scales, so our walk is measured against our position as sons of God.
In the word “WORTHY” if we remove the letter “Y” the word becomes “WORTH” and our worth increases when we remove the “why’s” as we unquestioningly accept God’s Providence in our every circumstance. A PERSON WHO DOES NOT LIVE IN THE WORD CANNOT LIVE “WORTHY”.
We now come to verse 2 which commences with, “LIVING AS BECOMES YOU”, and you may recall what Peter said in, “1 Peter 2:12 CONDUCT YOURSELVES properly (honourably, righteously (In “Conformity” .. comments mine) among the Gentiles”. We previously used the example of the orchestral conductor where “The conductor makes no sound, plays no instrument, has no chair, maintains an impeccable tempo, has acute sensitivity and lastly, he unifies the performance just by lifting his finger”.
This is in fact “Living as becomes you”. But there are some conditions involved in this progress. Paul says “COMPLETE” lowliness of mind (HUMILITY) (Also “complete” absence of pride .. comments mine) . Our humility is often spasmodic, when it suits us or is convenient, but it has to be “COMPLETE”. We will never be able to “MAKE ALLOWANCES” unless we embrace humility. This requires a consciousness of God which reflects the consciousness of our own nothingness, therefore, because I am nothing, it is easy to make allowances. (see Romans 12:3)
My misconceptions about myself, my wants or wishes or ideals or rules all dissipate when I realise, that in my own strength, estimation, appreciation, they all account for nothing, I must accept that anything I do or can do is by Father’s enablement.
In James 4:1-6 the first five verses really speak of pride and in verse 1 starts out “what leads to strife”? Verse 6 goes on to call it “this evil tendency” (AKA “Sensual desires” .. comments mine.) So, God gives grace to the humble but the proud causes strife.
GRACE IS THE SOLVENT FOR SIN.
Philippians 4:5 clarifies this concisely, “Let all men know and perceive and recognize your UNSELFISHNESS (your considerateness, your forbearing spirit)”. A “forbearing spirit” is a spirit that makes allowances and is the opposite of selfishness, and selfishness, when boiled down, is simply “IMPATIENCE”.
MAKING ALLOWANCES is not making excuses, if we make excuses for someone’s shortcomings then maybe we are over analysing or over thinking the situation. We do not “excuse” but we “MAKE ALLOWANCES”. If we excuse we risk being complicit in the shortcomings of that person.
If God didn’t “MAKE ALLOWANCES” we would all now have perished. For us to “MAKE ALLOWANCES” requires that we practice and evidence “ESP”, those characteristics demanded of the word as “ENDURANCE, STEADFASTNESS, PATIENCE”. Another term for this characteristic is “FORBEARANCE”.
Romans 12:18 IF POSSIBLE, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
SOMETIMES IT’S NOT POSSIBLE BUT WE MUST ENSURE THAT THE IMPOSSIBLE IS NOT OUR FAULT.
In this address Paul makes to the Romans he identifies two scenarios, the first is that there is no doubt we will encounter people or events which have the propensity to thoroughly test our “Endurance, Steadfastness, Patience”, suggesting disruptions are predictable and to be expected. But secondly, he asserts that we should have within us the capacity to overlook or even ignore provocations, the outcome is up to us, it “DEPENDS ON YOU”.
I often find it difficult to make allowances, it seems like it is giving people an excuse for something. The fact that the event/incident is measured by the standards I regard is not a good enough reason for me to chafe about it. I have to MAKE ALLOWANCES, firstly to identify what annoys me, and then DEAL WITH IT, in me!!!!!!
I am given adequate opportunity to apply “FORBEARANCE”, such as other drivers, or dress codes, eating habits, lack of respect, odd behaviour patterns, lack of punctuality, noise, tardiness, all just part of our daily encounters designed to determine if we can “MAKE ALLOWANCES”.
FROM THE NEW LIVING TRANSLATION
Isaiah provided some advice in this respect when he penned;
Isaiah 32:17 And the effect of RIGHTEOUSNESS will be peace [internal and external], and the result of RIGHTEOUSNESS will be quietness and confident trust FOREVER.
What is it that produces “RIGHTEOUSNESS”? It is those things that are composed of “PEACE”, and PEACE has fruits, not just a few but a harvest.
Hebrews 12:11 For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a PEACEABLE FRUIT OF RIGHTEOUSNESS to those who have been trained by it [a HARVEST of fruit which consists in righteousness–in conformity (Conformity is another name for Righteousness .. comments mine) to God’s will in purpose, thought, and action, resulting in right living and right standing with God].
“Correction and discipline” are intended to be fruitful experiences, although maybe not to our liking, but they produce “peaceable fruits of righteousness”. In Pomology, the science of fruit growing, the “peaceable fruit of righteousness” would be known as “CONFORMITY”, or the type of tree, like “Apple tree”, and just like natural fruit it comes in several “varieties”, so does the fruit of “CONFORMITY” have varieties. With apples, the varieties are numerous, Granny Smith, Delicious, Jonathan, Pink Lady to name a few.
James has gone to some lengths to describe the varieties of “CONFORMITY”, the “peaceable fruits” in chapter 3:18 and nominates them as, “concord, agreement, harmony, undisturbedness, peaceful mind”, and suggest they are free from defects and blemishes such as “fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts.” In other words, we will become competent in “making allowances”. When conquered it will be mature, unblemished fruit.
We are all familiar with the theory of “Cause and Effect” but here Isaiah in paraphrase says the “cause” produced by righteousness is “quietness and confident trust forever”, in other words, no chafing, and then the “effect” is “peace both internally and externally”. And so, by extrapolation, we can identify that “RIGHTEOUSNESS” contains the expansive capacity for “MAKING ALLOWANCES”.
There is an important component that Isaiah identifies and that is when we are practising RIGHTEOUSNESS, that our “FORBEARANCE” or “MAKING ALLOWANCES” will be “FOREVER”, not just for that individual event or encounter, and even just that person!!!
“FORBEARANCE” is often translated as self-control, restraint and tolerance under provocation”, so if we find it difficult to “MAKE ALLOWANCES” then we should develop more “FORBEARANCE”.
It has been said that “FORBEARANCE” is the ability to give soft answers to rough questions, and whilst we find this possible in some instances it has to become a perpetual characteristic. It means we will;
- Deal with provocations
- Handle irritations
- Be aware of imperfections
- Avoid fault-finding
- Accommodate those occasions “when men revile you”
There is a confronting scripture that equates “unselfishness” with “forbearance”, and so we must conclude that selfishness then must be impatience or lack of forbearance. Recall Ephesians 4:2 as our introductory verse also included “unselfishness” as part of our lifestyle.
Philippians 4:5 Let all men know and perceive and recognize your unselfishness (your considerateness, your forbearing spirit). The Lord is near [He is coming soon].
To ensure that there is no ambiguity regarding a “forbearing spirit” there are several synonyms such as “patience, endurance, tolerance, fortitude, long-suffering, stoicism, unselfishness”.
There are times when it is very hard to make allowances for other people. Believers form our family and we should treat one another with kindness and grace. This includes forgiveness, as well as tolerance, an ability to accommodate “idiosyncrasies”. (See study on “Oppressive Faults”)
Instead of demanding perfection in others, we need to be willing to endure other believers’ quirks and oddities. And, when they fail, we need to be ready to forgive and help them heal.
It has been said;
“To dwell above with saints we love, O won’t that be such glory.
To dwell below with saints we know, well that’s a different story”.
“MAKING ALLOWANCE” could be rephrased as “BEING FORGIVING”, and in some instances, this would be a better translation, as it restricts the opportunity for excuses that muddy the waters and confuse the event. We forgive as we are forgiven, but we are not obliged to make allowances for outright sin. Even the Word says, “he that sins shall surely die” (Ezekiel 18:20) and the Lord has made adequate “ALLOWANCE” for the application of repentance, even for the sinner, but draws the line on the blatant.
Some people want to use their background as an excuse for their behaviour, and indeed some have had a very poor start in life, but when we come to Christ then the old things have passed away and all things have become new, (2 Corinthians 5:17) so do we need to make allowance for this sort of excuse? It doesn’t mean that we are agreeable to everyone. There are things that we stand for. There is the truth that we stand for that is non-negotiable.
There are three distinct areas where we need to “Make Allowances” or to be “Patient”, and they are,
(1) Patient with self,
(2) Patient with others,
(3) Patient with God. The latter is only possible when we begin to see things from God’s perspective as spelt out in Colossians.
- PATIENCE WITH SELF
Colossians 3:12-13 Clothe yourselves therefore, as God’s own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by PUTTING ON BEHAVIOUR (This is the same as “LIVING AS BECOMES YOU” .. comments mine) marked by] tender-hearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] PATIENCE [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper]. Be gentle and FORBEARING with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].
The “PUTTING ON” described above does not mean that we PRETEND, it means that we are clothed in such a manner in our behaviour and presentation, so it identifies our Christlike nature.
“Forbearance” is a clone with “Self-Control”, it has the mental and emotional strength that enables courage in the face of adversity. We know that the opposite of forbearance is impatience or selfishness.
If God was not “FORBEARING” where would we be? And his instructions are for us to follow His example, so what is my excuse? Verse seven goes on “being content with its earthly lot, of whatever sort that is”.
Ephesians 5:6 Let no one delude and deceive you with empty excuses and groundless arguments [for these sins], for through these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of rebellion and disobedience. (See study “REASONS, EXCUSES, LIES”)
Trying to be patient with ourselves by ourselves is like trying to lift ourselves into the air by pulling on our shoelaces. We need to grow in God’s strength and power, not our own.
Colossians 1:11 [We pray] that YOU may be invigorated and strengthened with all power according to the might of His glory, [to exercise] every kind of endurance and patience (perseverance and forbearance) with joy,
Romans 2:7 To THOSE who by patient persistence in well-doing springing from piety] seek [unseen but sure] glory and honour and the eternal blessedness of] immortality, He will give eternal life.
- PATIENCE WITH OTHERS IS PROBABLY OUR GREATEST CHALLENGE.
Philippians 2:4 Let each of you esteem and look upon and be concerned for not [merely] his own interests, but also each for the interests of others. (Or what others are interested in)
Our interests sometimes are vastly different to other people and so we are inclined to be dismissive if the subject is of no consequence to us. So, we need to be careful to read between the lines or behind the conversations, the individual may be silently calling for help in a manner that is obscure unless we are sensitive. Some people are insecure, others bitterly lonely, some lack self-respect and so they cover by speaking or acting in ways that to us might seem inappropriate. Then there are those that just talk!!!!!
Peter, a man who could impetuously become belligerent found that by his relationship with the Lord, a quite remarkable relationship indeed, found he could pen the following words for our benefit in this day and generation.
1 Peter 3:9 NEVER return evil for evil or insult for insult (scolding, tongue-lashing, berating), but ON THE CONTRARY blessing [praying for their welfare, happiness, and protection, and truly pitying and loving them]. FOR know that to this you have been called, (Or, “LIVING AS BECOME YOU” .. comments mine) that you may yourselves inherit a blessing [from God–THAT you may obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare and happiness and protection].
Patience with others is when we are cultivating relationships, portraying love instead of resentment or judgment, and strengthening the patience within, and toward, our self, as well.
(3) PATIENCE WITH GOD
Jeremiah 12:5 [But THE LORD REBUKES JEREMIAH’S IMPATIENCE, saying] If you have raced with men on foot and they have tired you out, then how can you compete with horses? And if [you take to flight] in a land of peace where you feel secure, then what will you do [when you tread the tangled maze of jungle haunted by lions] in the swelling and flooding of the Jordan?
Jeremiah is not happy because the wicked prospers, and this was the Lord’s retort. He says in paraphrase, “If you think this is bad just wait”. Jeremiah’s observations were on the mark, it was his impatience with God’s timing that was out. We too could encounter similar displeasure by our Lord if we evidence our impatience.
Impatience is a form of unbelief; it is evidenced in frustration. What frustrates you? If we explore it, it is generally selfishly based, it conflicts with what I think or what I want. It leads to discontent, things like other drivers, the slow checkout chick, my spouse’s idiosyncrasies, generally what we see as other people’s mistakes or shortcomings and shows up my inability to “MAKE ALLOWANCES”.
But it is God at work either in them or in me, God has a purpose and it is not my prerogative to challenge God.
Romans 9:21 Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same mass (lump) one vessel for beauty and distinction and honourable use, and another for menial or ignoble and dishonourable use?
Isaiah 45:9 WOE TO HIM WHO STRIVES WITH HIS MAKER!–a worthless piece of broken pottery among other pieces equally worthless [and yet presuming to strive with his Maker]! Shall the clay say to him who fashions it, What do you think you are making? or, YOUR WORK HAS NO HANDLES?
This is very precise counsel against impatience and gets down to the nuts and bolts, we are sometimes okay to the moulding process but then tend to ask, “where are the handles?”
How long have we been familiar with Psalm 46:10, “Let be, be still, and know” yet our frustration or selfishness or unbelief, all one and the same, provoke our impatience and we complain against God.
Too often, we are in a hurry that God isn’t, and our impatience with God can cause us to do foolish things, to take matters into our own hands. We do this in one of two ways (1) By throwing in the towel and giving up when confronted by problems, (2) By making rash or impulsive counter moves to compensate for what we perceive as God’s lack of action.
What patience is:
- Calm
- Persevering
- Tolerant
- Understanding
- Compassionate
- Mindful
- Hopeful
What patience is not:
- Impulsive
- Complaining
- Judgmental
- Pessimistic
- Hasty
- Frantic
- Anxious
This list although far from comprehensive is a ready checklist to determine how competent we are at “MAKING ALLOWANCES”
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